I Haul My Ego Around With This

It Wasn't Me, I Swear...

Foot Trouble

AWESOME

It's comforting to know that no matter what you do in life, it will never be as awesome as this picture.

Johhny Depp

Johnny Depp is getting ready for his starring role as me in my book turned movie "I Did It Too, No, I Really Did It Too.... Really". Pretty soon he'll be as big as my ego.

Leave Britney ALONE!

Click this picture and you'll find out I'm not the only one who's on Britney's side.

Space

10,000 Readers!!!!!!!!!!

Hello my numb-nutted subjects. Over 10,000 of you have been keeping up with my fear of robots and my collection of pictures of women's feet. I know you love me and will follow me to the White House in Nashville when I become governor! Thanks for all the email too. Here's an email I got this week from Mark in Knoxville:

--Greetings Footster,
I see you almost every night driving up and down the strip with your megaphone yelling "It's me bitches! It's your leader!" and throwing autographed pictures and Krystal bags out your car window.--

Keep them coming. It helps me to know what's on your mind.

Yeah Man... Yeah...

You Forgot to Add Your Contact Info

I'm into it. You didn't leave any contact information. Call me at my office. 215-2005.
Ask for "The Footster", you'll get me quicker.

Picture of Me as a Kid

My New Catch Phrase

Inspired by this young man, I've decided to steel his catch phrase and use it as my own. He is a wonderful example of what I want the Knoxvillian youth to become. I will end all press conferences by hitting my chest with my fist, kissing a peace sign and saying this...

I Told You So... My Biggest Fear is Coming True...

I've been telling the people I rule over for years how robots are gonna try and take over Knoxville and maybe the entire state. Please listen to me. Please. Here's an example of why I'm so afraid.

Andy Dick, My Favorite Funny Man

THIS is what Knoxville needs. More peeing in parking lots like my favorite comedian Andy Dick. He's a riot! I started this fad in 2005 but I really think this will help it catch on. Maybe he's texting me in this photo!

Had a Meeting With Tom Cruise

I met with Tom Cruise about my "image problem". He suggested I try this move to start off my business meetings and when I meet people. I've been walking around like this for 2 days now and it's working great. So when you see me in a bar or on the lake or downtown or something, greet me with my new trademark greeting and say "Whott up Footster!" Here's Tom demonstrating "the move".