Wow

Thanks to all my subjects for the loads of emails. To answer your questions:
Yes
Yes
No
Twice
Yes
Ugly
3 1/2"

I Respect This Man

My Kind of Voter

I OWN Knoxville, Stupid

That gold ball is mine, that silver building is mine, Old Town is mine, all those bricks are mine, those tent things are mine, that bank is mine and those two radar dishes are mine. Mine! All mine! ALL MINE!!!. You idiots. What's next after I suck Knoxville's dignity into my black heart?
The state of Tennessee! That's right, The Scruffy Little City, then THE redneck state. HA!

Email me!

Seriously. Email me. I'll publish your email to me for all to see! But I won't publish your name. Believe me? Hell, I wouldn't. But you can get a fake email address at Yahoo or Hotmail and email me from that. Tell me what you really think too. It's important for me to know how my subjects feel so I can rule them better, lie to them easier and screw them over quicker before I become the Governor. - MayorMikeRagsdale@Gmail.com

Yeah Baby!

I wish he'd hold mine...

Let's Get Nipple Rings

A lot of people are saying I'm full of it and not an honest guy. Well, I'd like to put a band-aid on that wound by saying - Let's all get nipple rings! I mean it. I'm serious. What's the best place to get one? I'm paying for the 1st 20 people who want to get one with me. I've got one now, but I'm getting another one. Email me and let's get nipple rings!

Wayne

This is Wayne. He's the guy I just hired as my personal IT and Tech guy. He's awesome and hooked me up with free internet and cable. Here he is in his new office, right next to mine. I took the picture! He says he loves Dungeons and Dragons almost as much as me... ALMOST.

Gay Street Bridge This Monday

On Monday around 2 or 3, whenever I can sneek off, I say let's go base-jump off this bad boy. Call me around 1:30 if you're into it and we'll go in my van. I think the cops change shifts then so it should be cool. NO FEAR!

Damn It's Hot Out

So anyway, I'm out at the lake today, trying to get a tan, and guess what? NO SUNSCREEN!!!!! So I had to stay in the van and party in there so as not to get "lobstered". We need some rain. I better get on the horn and see if I can get something done about this.

Maybe I should do this too...

Hey! I Found 20 Bucks!

So anyway, I'm walking down Gay Street and I look down and like just out of nowhere there's 20 bucks! Man. It's a weird world huh? I'm gonna go there tomorrow and see if there's another 20 bucks. "Jack Ass" is on gotta go.

Who Farted?

I Need Some Help Here

Anybody out there who can help me hook up a lazor beam thing to a helmet like this one? Email me if you can. (I've got a helmet I think will work.)

Get to Know Me!

This is my cat. I named him "Dr. Poopie Cutington". He's the ruler of all cats! Just like I'm the ruler of all Knoxvillians. His favorite book is "The Complete Works of Meow Tse-Tung." I get in trouble when he pees in the kitchen. In this picture he's watching the Gomer Pyle dvd I bought for him at Sam's. I'm trying to teach him to talk like Peter Lorre.

What an actor. This is who I pattern my fashion sense and "Game Face" after. His philosophies have shaped my life as well as my career. His effeminate laugh has become a staple in my personality. I try to stay as pale as possible to look more like him although I do look like I have rosacea. I think about him and pray to him every night.

I love this look... and this woman! She speaks the language of my people. Look at that "lazy eye". I think that 's the "spy camera" she had installed back in the 80's to watch Bill while she slept. What a turn on. She looks like she's been drinking since early this morning. Either that or she's had a stroke. Damn she's hot. I love you Hilly! (Call me. Seriously. Call me.)

UFO's - I Told You So...

Watch this video and tell me you don't believe in UFO's. I've been telling people for years about my experiences and now I have proof. These guys are talking Chinese or something but the video is REAL my friend. It is.

THAT BIG TOOTH THAT HANGS OUT...

I've got this tooth that just bugs the shit out of me. See it there in the picture? It's like a damn fang or something. Sure, I've got a sweet buzz right now, but is it me or is that tooth frickin huge or what? Take the poll on the left side of this blog and let me know.

ROBOT LAWS - Learn these right away

When I become the Governor of Tennessee my "Robot Plan" will be the first order of business I put into affect. Since 1 in 5 people now are robots, these laws will be of the utmost importance to those of us on "New Ground" until the Robot Wars of the early 2000-teens I am planning are over. See video I made below after learning the laws.

Here are the 3 LAWS OF ROBOTICS -

1: A robot may not injure a human being, or through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

2: A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

3: A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

MY SONG TO KNOXVILLE

Here's a song I wrote just for my Knoxvillians. Go Big Orange! And a shout-out to my GATORS!!!!

Hello Knoxville!

Well, I damn near got away with it! I'm gonna tell you about my aspirations of becoming the Governor of Tennessee and why I can't now because I'm a joke. How I screwed my friends and the people who work for me and most important of all... how I screwed Knoxville.

I'm gonna have plenty of polls for you to take so I'll really know how you feel about me and some wonderful photos of me as well. So let everybody know about my blog here and let's get started!