To All The Ladies Out There...

Watch this and get to it:

'Cosmopolitan' Institute Completes Decades-Long Study On How To Please Your Man

My New Set Of Chics

So anyway, I'm at the beach cruising around, partying, you know, and out of nowhere I see these to hotties drinking Lowenbrau and eating fried pickles.  So I'm like "What's up babies?"  and they're like "You, by the looks of those cut-offs."  So I'm like yeah I'm getting some outta town strange.   Then the little one pops out this bag of weed and it's skunk weed you know?  And I'm like "Why don't you send that back to your grandmother and let's smoke THIS shit."  I pulled out some of that stuff I get Fed-Exed from Hawaii and my one-hitter and BOOM!  We're all high and stuff.  And the blonde says "Hey sissy boy, you seen anything like this?"  That's when I took the picture.

10 Things You May Not Know About Robots

I Remember When Tim Would Spy on Us...

I remember when Tim would send out these people to stand or sit near me and my old friends during social events to listen and record what all we were saying.  Talk about paranoid.  I can't wait to see what he has to say about the videos and photos I had taken of those idiots that thought they were "undercover double naught spies".  That's not all they did either...  But I'll tell you ALL about that in a video collage I'm putting together for later.  Moles are expensive.  And guess what?  Knox County paid for my moles and his spies!  HA!  HA!......  BAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaa........

It's Official! Hutchinson To Run for Mayor!

 Because Knox County is paying him $80,000.00 a year for the rest of his life, Tim Hutchinson can afford to own a car dealership and is gonna run for the Mayor's office!  HA!  In 2 years he plans to be your master and ruler?  Over my passed out drunken body he will. No way Bald-O!  Rook to your Pawn, numb nuts.

Get My RSS Feed Bitches

If you are one of my followers and want to know when I post something new on my blog then just click that little orangey weird looking thing at the far right of your address bar or the letters RSS in the same place if there's no orangey thing.  Then you'll know when your ruler has spoken.  

News Reporter from Last Week Smacked into Present Day

A news reporter from The Knoxville News Sentinel was smacked from last Thursday into early this morning when he asked Mayor, Ruler and self proclaimed "foot freak" Mike Ragsdale where he sharpened the knives he stuck in his friends and co-worker's backs. 

Mincing Mike retorted "Oh no you dih-int!" and bitch-slapped the newsman who appeared this morning in a swirl of light and smoke on Kingston Pike right in front of Arby's. 

A close family friend with me and my cousin

This is a photo of my 6th birthday. My cousin Sarah and I always celebrated our birthdays over at my next door neighbor's house. He became a politician and I think that little Marx Brothers mustache helped. Actually it was just baby poop he'd wipe under his nose because he liked the smell.

He said I needed a "trademark" for my look too, so I had the fang installed and started talking like a bath house towel boy.

I'm in the throes of summer movie madness!

I just watched "March of the Penguins" for the 9th time. They must have spent millions on the extras alone. Acting is one of my passions.
The audio-animatronics in this film almost made me weep they were so good. Robots... big or small... they're coming to get us... eventually. Seriously, they really are.

I've been saying this is going on for years...

I TOLD you this is what's coming...

Hello my foolish followers. In 2 years I want to see hundreds if not thousands of these on Kingston Pike. (click the picture to learn how.)

My Favorite Candidate After Hilldog

That Obama is one bad mother...
"Shut your mouth!"
I'm just talkin' bout Obama...

New Uniforms For Our Firemen

Here is the new uniform I have designed for out fire departments. With this new design we will save money and our brave fire fighters will be able to go to my favorite clubs and get in free after every fire. This is me demonstrating the new gear.

I Haul My Ego Around With This

It Wasn't Me, I Swear...

Foot Trouble

AWESOME

It's comforting to know that no matter what you do in life, it will never be as awesome as this picture.

Johhny Depp

Johnny Depp is getting ready for his starring role as me in my book turned movie "I Did It Too, No, I Really Did It Too.... Really". Pretty soon he'll be as big as my ego.

Leave Britney ALONE!

Click this picture and you'll find out I'm not the only one who's on Britney's side.

Space

10,000 Readers!!!!!!!!!!

Hello my numb-nutted subjects. Over 10,000 of you have been keeping up with my fear of robots and my collection of pictures of women's feet. I know you love me and will follow me to the White House in Nashville when I become governor! Thanks for all the email too. Here's an email I got this week from Mark in Knoxville:

--Greetings Footster,
I see you almost every night driving up and down the strip with your megaphone yelling "It's me bitches! It's your leader!" and throwing autographed pictures and Krystal bags out your car window.--

Keep them coming. It helps me to know what's on your mind.

Yeah Man... Yeah...

You Forgot to Add Your Contact Info

I'm into it. You didn't leave any contact information. Call me at my office. 215-2005.
Ask for "The Footster", you'll get me quicker.

Picture of Me as a Kid

My New Catch Phrase

Inspired by this young man, I've decided to steel his catch phrase and use it as my own. He is a wonderful example of what I want the Knoxvillian youth to become. I will end all press conferences by hitting my chest with my fist, kissing a peace sign and saying this...

I Told You So... My Biggest Fear is Coming True...

I've been telling the people I rule over for years how robots are gonna try and take over Knoxville and maybe the entire state. Please listen to me. Please. Here's an example of why I'm so afraid.

Andy Dick, My Favorite Funny Man

THIS is what Knoxville needs. More peeing in parking lots like my favorite comedian Andy Dick. He's a riot! I started this fad in 2005 but I really think this will help it catch on. Maybe he's texting me in this photo!

Had a Meeting With Tom Cruise

I met with Tom Cruise about my "image problem". He suggested I try this move to start off my business meetings and when I meet people. I've been walking around like this for 2 days now and it's working great. So when you see me in a bar or on the lake or downtown or something, greet me with my new trademark greeting and say "Whott up Footster!" Here's Tom demonstrating "the move".

Wow

Thanks to all my subjects for the loads of emails. To answer your questions:
Yes
Yes
No
Twice
Yes
Ugly
3 1/2"

I Respect This Man

My Kind of Voter

I OWN Knoxville, Stupid

That gold ball is mine, that silver building is mine, Old Town is mine, all those bricks are mine, those tent things are mine, that bank is mine and those two radar dishes are mine. Mine! All mine! ALL MINE!!!. You idiots. What's next after I suck Knoxville's dignity into my black heart?
The state of Tennessee! That's right, The Scruffy Little City, then THE redneck state. HA!

Email me!

Seriously. Email me. I'll publish your email to me for all to see! But I won't publish your name. Believe me? Hell, I wouldn't. But you can get a fake email address at Yahoo or Hotmail and email me from that. Tell me what you really think too. It's important for me to know how my subjects feel so I can rule them better, lie to them easier and screw them over quicker before I become the Governor. - MayorMikeRagsdale@Gmail.com

Yeah Baby!

I wish he'd hold mine...

Let's Get Nipple Rings

A lot of people are saying I'm full of it and not an honest guy. Well, I'd like to put a band-aid on that wound by saying - Let's all get nipple rings! I mean it. I'm serious. What's the best place to get one? I'm paying for the 1st 20 people who want to get one with me. I've got one now, but I'm getting another one. Email me and let's get nipple rings!

Wayne

This is Wayne. He's the guy I just hired as my personal IT and Tech guy. He's awesome and hooked me up with free internet and cable. Here he is in his new office, right next to mine. I took the picture! He says he loves Dungeons and Dragons almost as much as me... ALMOST.

Gay Street Bridge This Monday

On Monday around 2 or 3, whenever I can sneek off, I say let's go base-jump off this bad boy. Call me around 1:30 if you're into it and we'll go in my van. I think the cops change shifts then so it should be cool. NO FEAR!

Damn It's Hot Out

So anyway, I'm out at the lake today, trying to get a tan, and guess what? NO SUNSCREEN!!!!! So I had to stay in the van and party in there so as not to get "lobstered". We need some rain. I better get on the horn and see if I can get something done about this.

Maybe I should do this too...

Hey! I Found 20 Bucks!

So anyway, I'm walking down Gay Street and I look down and like just out of nowhere there's 20 bucks! Man. It's a weird world huh? I'm gonna go there tomorrow and see if there's another 20 bucks. "Jack Ass" is on gotta go.

Who Farted?

I Need Some Help Here

Anybody out there who can help me hook up a lazor beam thing to a helmet like this one? Email me if you can. (I've got a helmet I think will work.)

Get to Know Me!

This is my cat. I named him "Dr. Poopie Cutington". He's the ruler of all cats! Just like I'm the ruler of all Knoxvillians. His favorite book is "The Complete Works of Meow Tse-Tung." I get in trouble when he pees in the kitchen. In this picture he's watching the Gomer Pyle dvd I bought for him at Sam's. I'm trying to teach him to talk like Peter Lorre.

What an actor. This is who I pattern my fashion sense and "Game Face" after. His philosophies have shaped my life as well as my career. His effeminate laugh has become a staple in my personality. I try to stay as pale as possible to look more like him although I do look like I have rosacea. I think about him and pray to him every night.

I love this look... and this woman! She speaks the language of my people. Look at that "lazy eye". I think that 's the "spy camera" she had installed back in the 80's to watch Bill while she slept. What a turn on. She looks like she's been drinking since early this morning. Either that or she's had a stroke. Damn she's hot. I love you Hilly! (Call me. Seriously. Call me.)

UFO's - I Told You So...

Watch this video and tell me you don't believe in UFO's. I've been telling people for years about my experiences and now I have proof. These guys are talking Chinese or something but the video is REAL my friend. It is.

THAT BIG TOOTH THAT HANGS OUT...

I've got this tooth that just bugs the shit out of me. See it there in the picture? It's like a damn fang or something. Sure, I've got a sweet buzz right now, but is it me or is that tooth frickin huge or what? Take the poll on the left side of this blog and let me know.

ROBOT LAWS - Learn these right away

When I become the Governor of Tennessee my "Robot Plan" will be the first order of business I put into affect. Since 1 in 5 people now are robots, these laws will be of the utmost importance to those of us on "New Ground" until the Robot Wars of the early 2000-teens I am planning are over. See video I made below after learning the laws.

Here are the 3 LAWS OF ROBOTICS -

1: A robot may not injure a human being, or through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

2: A robot must obey orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

3: A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

MY SONG TO KNOXVILLE

Here's a song I wrote just for my Knoxvillians. Go Big Orange! And a shout-out to my GATORS!!!!

Hello Knoxville!

Well, I damn near got away with it! I'm gonna tell you about my aspirations of becoming the Governor of Tennessee and why I can't now because I'm a joke. How I screwed my friends and the people who work for me and most important of all... how I screwed Knoxville.

I'm gonna have plenty of polls for you to take so I'll really know how you feel about me and some wonderful photos of me as well. So let everybody know about my blog here and let's get started!